They Said What?!

So there are a whole slew of things that people say when they find out you are pregnant.  Right?  From “Do you know what you are having?” to “Were you trying?”…the amount of ignorant and sometimes hurtful things that people say to pregnant women is astounding.  Sure, maybe they don’t understand that at 8 weeks you have no freaking idea what you are having other than an alien-look-a-like-baby inside of you.  And the “were you trying” question…really?  Is there a way to “not try” and still get pregnant?  (Let me clarify - "trying to have twins" is a bit different...there wasn't a whole lot we could control to have this outcome)

As we enter the 3^rd trimester (OMG HOW DID THIS HAPPEN SO FAST!?), I sit and reflect on the crazy things that I have heard and been asked so far.  This is not meant to be mean or condescending – I honestly believe that some people just “don’t know” or “mean well”…but sometimes there is no excuse for ignorance (historically we have cried ignorance to “not knowing better” and look where that has gotten us on a lot of issues…..).  Most of these come after telling someone we are expecting twins, which always seems to heighten the intensity and stupidity of a question.   I’ll try to give my honest reaction to them all - mind you, I'm already a sarcastic person...:-) 

1.       “Twins? OMG what are you going to do?”  - I don’t know.  Haven’t decided yet.  Maybe we will keep one, maybe we will give one away. Maybe we’ll just keep one in there forever and pretend it never happened.   We have time to decide right?  I mean.  What would YOU do?

2.       “Were they natural?” – Yup – totally human babies in here.  Wouldn’t that be cool if we had aliens or little panda babies or something sweet that no other human could do?!

3.       Follow-up usually to #2 – “No, I mean, did you have any help?” – Well, my husband was there…

4.       Final follow-up to #2 and #3 – “No, like, did you do IVF”.  OKAY – here’s the thing…that’s a super PERSONAL question for people.  We know that we are very fortunate to not have had to go through the emotional stresses and heartache of infertility.   It doesn’t matter if your baby was conceived using a penis and vagina the “good old fashioned way” or in a petrie dish or with some other intervention.  It’s a human child (2 of them, to be exact) and doesn’t matter how it happened.    And frankly, it’s none of your business unless you want to tell me all about your love making ability (or inability)…go ahead.  I dare you.  I swear I’ll ask the most personal questions out there…

5.       “You’re really small, are you sure there are two?” – Here’s the thing.  Early on in a twin pregnancy this really bothered me because there is this thing called Vanishing Twin Syndrome and it’s terrifying and it’s something I (and most twin moms???) freak out about.  It’s the fact that you have these two little lives inside of you that you are loving and nourishing and without you knowing or doing anything to cause it – one of them could just vanish and get re-absorbed.  That’s terrifying stuff.  So to hear (sometimes on a daily basis) that you are “small” can get a little overwhelming until you have hit a good mile marker in your pregnancy.  Likewise – just because we carry more than one baby doesn’t mean that we have to be huge elephants the whole 9 months.    

6.       “You’re going to be HUGE by the end” – Um…gee thanks.  Haven’t had that thought pass through my mind at all as I contemplate carrying TWO babies in a belly made for one.  Ps: I’m sure you were a picture perfect model pregnant woman who didn’t get big at all….all belly…uh huh….I’m sure you were…..

7.       “You’re going to need two of everything!” – Again…thanks Captain Obvious.  Clearly we won’t make them share one diaper but do I really need two of EVERYTHING?  Two gliders?  Two changing tables? OMG do I need to double my breasts to 4 just to accommodate?!?!

8.       “Oh my friend had twins and they were 9 and 10 pounds each”  - That sounds like a lot of baby cuz it IS A LOT OF BABY.  I don’t think anyone reading this is saying “man, I would love to carry almost 20 pounds of CHILD inside of me all while keeping up with my day to day activities”.  On the flip side, let’s all be aware that there are many people who have twins very early on (and heck, single babies early on) that would have LOVED to have their babies a little bigger, a little healthier, a little less pre-term.  I’m not sure if people tell these stories to scare us or to warn us or what…but there is always a flip side.  We just hope for two healthy beings…plus big babies sleep well so I’m sure your friend was just fine. 

9.       “You’re going to be nursing all the time if you breastfeed” – I don’t know the answer to this one.  This being our first shot at breastfeeding – I’m not sure what to expect.  What I really want to do after someone makes this comment is reach out and slap them.  This is not a productive or positive comment.  I’m sure you are the same person that would scold me for NOT breastfeeding….which brings me to my last remark…..

10.   “Are you going to breastfeed – it’s the best for baby” (insert condescending judgmental eyes staring at you) – I would love to be able to see into the future.  I do not know if my body will cooperate or if my kids will latch on.  I desperately hope that I am able to provide enough for them through these fun bags but, this might be a surprise to you, if I can’t breastfeed I’m sure that the world will keep turning and my kids will grow up healthy.  Yes, “breast is best” but there are many times when it doesn’t work out.   Things don’t always go as planned.   As most moms would attest, you do the best that you can for your baby with what you have – and only you know what’s best for YOUR baby.  No one else.

So there you have it – not every comment I’ve heard to date, but the majority of them.  I’m sure there will be more and I’m sure that once I have two mini-me’s to tote around it will be even more “hilarious”.  I’ll have to come back and update then.  For the most part, I have enjoyed talking openly with people about our experience and our emotions and our feelings.  It’s somewhat liberating to let others know that we aren’t always perfect (and dammit, we don’t have to be).     

We Love You Too (Two?)!

Can it really be only 12 (or less) weeks until our babies are here?!  It's still so hard to wrap our heads around the fact that there will soon be two little ones taking over our every move.  We are so excited to meet them!!

Summer has flown by and it's hard to believe that we are already into August.  We were able to spend some quality time with family in July going to the Dells for a long weekend with my immediate family and then a nice weekend home for Bix where we were able to reconnect with some of Ethan's family (immediate and extended).  As we gear up for a busy August, an even busier September and an unpredictable October, we are reminded that our family and friends are showering us with love and support.  I was blessed to be back on Augustana's campus this week meeting new co-workers and saying goodbye to ones that are moving on with their life adventure.  There was even a sweet little shower for me at Crust Pizza where Twix bars were turned into TWIN bars and two monkeys were in a peapod.  Just adorable.  We cannot thank you all enough.

I had an ultrasound this morning and both babies are looking great!  Both measure in at 1 lb. 9 oz and are about 24 1/2 weeks along (even though I'm about 25 1/2).  Heartbeats are still strong and doctors have no complaints about how this is all going.  Feeling so blessed and grateful for a wonderful pregnancy so far!

I'll leave you with a cute photo captured this morning at our ultrasound.  Baby B signing "I love you" - probably trying to send Ethan a message since he wasn't able to be there this morning.  ;-)  Don't worry Muenchkins, we love you too!

20 Week Ultrasound Update

We finally got to see our babies on Tuesday.  It's just BANANAS to think that there are really two living beings in there.  They were perfect (what parent doesn't say that?!) and everything checked out normally.  We were informed that the twins are, in fact, fraternal which only solidifies our inclinations (or hopes?) that we are having one boy and one girl.  However, we closed our eyes when the goods had to be examined and we are still in the dark as to what we are actually having!  We are just overwhelmed with love right now and so grateful to have this experience. 

The babies are positioned so that Baby A is head down, right on my bladder - I could have told them that!  Baby B is breech and tends to lie on my right side or under my belly button a bit more.  Both move around a lot and are kicking each other in the head most the day.  Sibling rivalry already?  We actually got to watch them do this at one point in our ultrasound...so crazy. 

Baby A - Holding up a #1 right after the Blackhawks Stanley Cup win.  What a kid!

Weighing in at 10oz.

 

 



Baby B - moving a lot so this was the best shot we could get. 

Weighing in at 11oz.

 

 

Okay - this is adorable (we think!).  Baby B with it's legs straight out (feet on the right).  The baby was like this for a good 5 min.  As our nephew, Noah, would say "Look at that cute tooshie!"

 

 



 



"Ohhhh, we're half way there! Ohhhhhh! Living on a prayer!"

It feels like just yesterday we were letting people know that we were pregnant.  It feels slightly less long ago that we had to re-tell them that it was twins.  The anticipation, anxiety, fear, excitement, joyousness, and support over these last couple months has been truly amazing.  We cannot thank our family and friends enough for their generosity in gifts and time.  Often, it was an ear to talk to that meant the most.

We have slowly started to put our babies room together.  They will be taking over the guest room and, while it will be a tight fit, they will have it all to themselves.  Sharing things will be second nature to them with most everything else! :-) 

We are halfway there now!  We won't go any longer than 38 weeks which will bring us right to November 1st - PERFECT! ;-)  I have been feeling them randomly move around.  So incredible.  Still too light for Ethan to feel from the outside but I expect that to change any week now.  We get to "see" them on Tuesday at the high risk ultrasound and it would be an understatement to say that we are excited.  We haven't had an ultrasound since week 8 and it's getting harder to wait!  No, we won't be finding out the sex of the babies.  They have been total surprises so far, so we will just let them have this last joke on us at the delivery.  Boys or Girls or one of each, doesn't matter to us.  We love them so much already!

19 weeks!  Half way there!

 

 



Only God Can Make 1+1=4

Sometimes in life, you can prepare as well as you like.  You can budget, you can set aside resources, you can research as much as humanly possible.  But sometimes in life, you are at your first ultrasound appointment so excited to see the little human growing inside of you only to find out........there are two.  Yes, TWO!  No one taught me how to prepare for that!

April 8th - Almost 9 weeks along

There they are.  The newest Muenchkins.  Plural.  Heartbeats and all.  Who knew?  I think Ethan and I told our ultrasound technician to "shut up" several times and repeatatively asked her "what?!?!".  We also sat in silence...gripping each others hand so tight that by the end there were nail marks and white knuckles.  Twins don't run in our families - and Ethan comes from a HUGE family of single babies.  Single baby after single baby.  No twins for as far as the eye can see.  So what do you do when you get thrown a curve ball, no screwball, no "OH MY GOD IT'S GOING TO HIT ME" ball?  We laughed.  Hysterically laughed.  We walked out of the doctors office and in the elevator (which everyone can see through the open glass) we hugged each other and we laughed.  We walked to the car, sat down and laughed.  We looked at each other and said "well, that's what we get for always joking that we should just have twins and be done with it", and then we laughed some more.  Once we were done laughing (or...at least enough to take a breath), we called our parents.  You know what they did?  They laughed....and screamed...and we THINK they may have teared up but it's hard to tell over the phone when everything is chaotic. 

Most importantly, our parents were EXCITED!  An emotion I'm not sure Ethan and I felt since before the ultrasound.  Terrified - YES.  Overwhelmed - OF COURSE.  Shocked - YOU KNOW IT.  Excited - ummmm...........yes?   Were we?  Were we already making our first parental mistake by NOT being overly excited and joyous that this happened?  I'm not sure, and I'm not sure that we really cared if it was a "mistake" or perfectly freaking normal to feel this way.  (We went with the latter - because it IS normal and totally healthy to feel that way).  Of course, we called our siblings next and they were drinking the kool aid that our parents were drinking.  Slowly but surely this was becoming more and more real.  

So, then the planning (again) began.  Two of everything - cribs, car seats, high chairs, pack and plays, bouncy seats...and...daycare (oh my goodness don't get me started on college....).  I think I gave myself a mini panic attack each time I tried to wrap my head around all of this.  All I could see were dollar signs...dollar signs that we don't have.  Thankfully, our parents were constantly re-assuring.  Their words of encouragement and willingness to help along the way have been truly amazing and greatly appreciated.  I think we would have crumbled without our family's support.  It came at a time when we all needed it.

After over a year of getting rid of that thing...it's coming back.  Week 12.

 



Here we are now, over 13 weeks along and feeling great.  Other than being exhausted from growing two little beings, I have had a fairly easy pregnancy.  I'm getting some energy back and wanting to work out again which is a welcome feeling.  Our heads (and hearts) are finally wrapped around these two babies and we know we are going to be just fine.  We have been scouring garage sales and learning that people are way more generous than they need to be.   Life has continued to throw us a"OH MY GOD IT'S GOING TO HIT ME" ball in the form of rain the other week.  We actually lost one of our cars (my little Focus) in the flood in our parking lot.  Thank goodness for great car insurance because this turned into a blessing.  Can you imagine fitting two car seats into a Ford Focus?  Yeah...exactly.  With the money from insurance for the totaled car, we were able to purchase a new, bigger car (Ford Escape SUV) to be fully prepared for our babies.   So much has not gone as planned these last couple months, but they have all turned out VERY okay.  We know God wouldn't, and WON'T give us more than we can handle and we are so grateful for the good people He has placed around us for support.

Our little turkeys will be here in November if mommy has her way (official due date Nov. 13)!  We are 1/3 of the way there! To all you other moms,  moms-to-be, and moms-to-be-again out there (there sure are a lot of us!) I hope you enjoyed Mothers Day.  What an amazing feeling. 

A Plan Without A Plan...

This past week marked our 2 year Wedding Anniversary.  It's so cliche, but this has truly been the best two years of my life.  I always tell people that I LOVE being married...and it's really true. 

Ethan and I decided to get away for the weekend and we landed on Nashville as our destination.  Don't get me wrong, Nashville itself was very fun, but the car ride was better and the random stops along the way were the icing on the cake.  Here is a glimpse at what we did!!

This is what 4a.m. looks like! Guess who the morning person is in this relationship :-)

First stop was in Indy for some Breakfast.  Second stop, LOUISVILLE SLUGGER FACTORY!!!

 Stopped at Hog Heaven as soon as we got into Nashville. Total shack of a place but AWESOME BBQ!!

After lunch it was time to drive around.  Looky what we found!  Titan's Stadium!

Standing outside the gates.  We tried to sneak in but that place was on lockdown! 

After a nap at the hotel and a shower, it was time for a night out on Broadway!!  We had dinner at a hole in the wall burger place and then went to some random bar and watched Rachael Johnson and her CRAZY band go to work at Big Shotz.  After a little bit of time there, we decided to walk Music Row and see what else there was.  Clearly there is no shortage of live music in Nashville.

Sunday we woke up and went to Pucketts for some breakfast.  Good is an understatement.  No, GREAT AMAZING UNREAL is an understatement.  This place was the perfect ending to a great Nashville "tour".

On the road back we made an unplanned stop at the Jim Beam Distillery....A-Mazing...

Also, notice that the tree is black.  Around all distilleries, there is a fungus that moves in and creates this black bark on all the trees.  The fungus is not harmful but it looks like all of the trees around the Jim Beam Distillery have been burned.  

Standing in the Barrel House.  They call the portion of Bourbon that evaporates during aging "Angel Share".  They call the portion of Bourbon that gets soaked into the wood of the barrel "Devils Cut"...appropriately named we think! (also, it was hot this day...like...HOT - please disregard my tired looking self and focus on how amazingly small Ethan looks!)

That's a lot of Bourbon! 

Standing under 9 stories of aging Bourbon.  There are 1.8 million barrels of aging Bourbon on this property...

This is what 9 stories of Bourbon looks like from the outside.  They have way too many of these "sheds" to count. You can also SMELL the Bourbon all around the Jim Beam complex.  Sweet, sweet smells.... 

This was the original house that used to be the sleeping quarters for people who worked at the original distillery.  The statue is Booker Noe - one of the Master Distillers.

The Jim Beam Distillery is situated in rolling hills and beautiful scenery.  I bet this place is magical in the fall.

We left the Distillery at about 2pm and made it a ways into Indiana.  This is by far my favorite part of the drive.  Wind farms are pretty.  Get on board people.

Final stop along the way.  I ALWAYS tell Ethan that there is no way we can stop for Fireworks.  Fireworks are not legal in Illinois and we just shouldn't break the law.  I caved this time.

(Please note: I regret this decision because on Monday he took out one of them and tried it in our parking lot.  It was loud...like a gun shot and I'm shocked no one called "shots fired" on us...it made me very embarrassed)

We got home at about 9pm on Sunday night.  A total of 16+ hours in the car and about 24 hours total in Nashville.  It was a quick trip for sure, but one of the best I've ever been on. The company was pretty great too ;-)

As I reflected on our 2 years as a married couple, I realized that I could not....no I WOULD NOT have done this if it weren't for Ethan.  We didn't have a plan.  We just drove to Nashville and stopped when we felt like it.  There wasn't an itinerary or a map or a time limit.  We drove.  We stopped.  We ate (a lot).  We walked.  We talked. We drank (a little). We sight saw. And we drove some more.  The conversation was never dull and the scenery and car music to accompany it was something out of a movie.  It was the perfect weekend and a great reflection of what our life together is (and will always be) like. 

Down Update

Sometimes, you're sitting at work and you get a text message from your husband and you just start crying. 


I wish I had some profound words to write, or some catchy thing to say...but my hands are trembling and my head is racing.  7-8 months ago, Ethan said to me "I'll be happy if I just get down to 300 pounds."  It seemed like a daunting task. 

But then, today, he sent me this...

Ethan has lost 101 pounds as of today.  Take that in. Soak it up.  101 pounds.  How do you even begin to THINK about losing that much?  I guess you don't.  I guess you start with your small goals and build on them.  I guess you start by seeing small changes and progress.  I guess you let those things build your confidence so much so that you just keep going.  I guess you learn that you have more will power, fight, and perseverance than you ever thought.