An Unsolicited Letter to my Pre-mom Self

So you're pregnant.  Wow. It's really happening.  There is a little being in you and, while it is still hard to comprehend, you know you love it.  Before that tiny bundle rocks your world and changes everything, I want to let you know a billion (okay not really) things.

1. Throw out the fitness magazines and celebrity magazines. They will only make you feel unbeautiful at a time when, I assure you, you are your most beautiful. "Get back to pre-pregnancy weight in 4 weeks!" (Impossible because you are human)  "I breastfed and the weight just melted off" (Bullshit. Just. Bullshit) Those headlines and stories are part of (in) advertant mom-bashing. They are also talking about women who have the ability to hire nannies, nutritionists and a thousand other things. You are human and normal.  But most of all you are beautiful, to your husband, to your family and to your new baby. 

2. What works for your baby, works. There are tons of books with advice and old ladies ready to tell you how they did it but you know what?  They didn't have YOUR baby. Sometimes crunching on cereal at 2am is just what your baby needs to fall back asleep.  Other times even a pin drop will set them into an uncontrollable cry.  You worry about your baby and your sanity and leave the rest alone. 

3. Get out of the house. It's good for you and it's great for your baby! Even if you haven't showered (for days), even if you have nothing to get, even if it is cold out. Take that kid to Target, walk around a bit and likely buy things you didn't know you needed (purple toaster that also butters your bread!?!? Sold!) 

4. Babies cry but your baby's cry will be excruciating. It will pain you and make you ache. Not figuratively but quite literally. That's about all I can say to prepare you for it. 

5. You're doing a great job. You have done a great job while pregnant and that won't just change overnight. Even when you are in the middle of a store and your baby is crying and hungry and others start to stare, you are doing a great job.  Even if you rock and rock and rock with your baby and they won't go to sleep, you are doing a great job.  Even if you lose contact with most of your friends because your new best friend arrived, you are doing a great job.  It won't always feel like it. But you are. 

6. Breathe.  When you are overwhelmed. Breathe. When you are annoyed at all the opinions. Breathe. When your husband does something to bother you. Breathe.   This is all a learning process for you, your husband and the baby (and in laws and parents and everyone).  You are in uncharted territory and it takes time.  Rely on God.  And breathe. 

And always, always remember that this too shall pass.  Some days will be easy, some will be hard, some times you will want to give up and other times you will wonder why everyone complains.  Being a mother, wife and YOU all at the same time is hard.  But you are doing it.  And there are "others" out there ready to help in any way possible.