I'm coming off of 3 days of inspiration, motivation and confirmation at the annual IACAC conference. I remember quite clearly my first conference 2 years ago. I was still very green in the Admissions field (some/most days I STILL feel this way!) and had just found out I was pregnant with twins. The conference felt like a blur. It was my first introduction to so many influential people who's names are now familiar. Flash forward through a pregnant fall travel season, 2 kids and maternity leave and I found myself at my 2nd conference last year. I so looked forward to really diving into some of the sessions and learning more. During the morning on the 2nd day, I received a message that Landon had a fever and I had to pick him up from daycare - cue double ear infection and a mom who had to stay home and miss the rest of the conference.
This year I was determined to make it through without distractions and totally focused on meeting new people, gaining knowledge and getting re-invigorated for the job that I love (though during this crazy busy, often depressing time doesn't feel like it). I had taken Anne Kremer's words from her President's speech very literally last year and volunteered to work the Registration on the 1st day - I had said YES. I said YES to networking and being in the moment, to advancing my relationships with my colleagues and learning about new opportunities. So, as you can imagine, I was less than thrilled when Harper woke up at 9:30pm with screams so piercing that I'm still trying to figure out how Landon didn't wake up. It took over 30 minutes to calm her down and by this point I had panicked. Ethan was traveling and I was SURE she needed immediate medical attention. I texted my aunt who lives the closest and had her come over "just in case". By the time my aunt arrived, Harper had calmed enough and greeted her with a smile. Kids often make liars out of us, don't they?
In the back of my head, I kept saying "NOT DURING CONFERENCE WEEK" but also felt guilt for not feeling the sense of urgency or desire to take care of a sick kid. I wanted it all and wrestled with the fact that I could not do just that. Fitting, I thought, as I was looking over the schedule for the next day. "From the Mom side of the desk" was the morning session I was planning to go to. You see, over the last 2 years, I have met incredible women who are in College Admissions making it work for them. The early mornings, long days, late nights, weekends, events, interviews, meetings, ect. They were doing it. And here I was, LONGING to not have the responsibility of kids so that I could "do it all". But what if we change our notion of "having it all"? What if WE (as mothers) define our path and our abilities rather than comparing ourselves to childless women? We are different. We think differently, act differently and prioritize differently. I was not a bad worker because I had to take my kids to the doctor (for the second year in a row). I was not a bad employee because I missed the lunch and afternoon sessions that day but returned for networking at dinner and seeing one of my mommy mentors win a well-deserved award. I was not a bad admissions representative because I said "not right now" to work and "snuggle in" to my kids. Priorities shift and work becomes "different" than what we were so used to. The solidarity I felt through that "Mom Side" session this week reminded me that what I am doing is strong work. It matters. I matter. And, there are other women who also feel this pressure to "do it all" as they used to. Just like regional admissions representatives often work "differently" than their office based counterparts, I would contend that moms work "differently" (though, just as hard) as their childless counterparts. Something to remember as both mommyhood and careers become more demanding of our time, energy, patience and focus.
